ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
