Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
