its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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