physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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