I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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