operation have a gay friend backfired
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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