The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
