Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I want to have your abortion
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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