when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
