Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize