worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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