as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
