I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
