I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
bring money and cleavage
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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