I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
