have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
