I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize