I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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