I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
