At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
