I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
