plz talk dirty to me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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