Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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