If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
