just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
