i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
