with your own penis?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
