she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
