Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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