It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
