Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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