yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
