Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
All I want is dick and wine.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
