dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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