i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
