Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
