i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
