K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
