You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
this is an emotional support booty call
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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