I wanna passion pit in your ass
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
im on a boat
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