Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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