in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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