god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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