Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
