Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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