Houston, we have a blender
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
