guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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