I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
