Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
