What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
