wakey wakey hands off snakey
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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