theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
