so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
