his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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