It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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