There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
