Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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