yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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