Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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