Sry I called you an 8
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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