She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize