So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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