Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i think i have herpe
just one?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize