You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
