Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
